Monday, November 30, 2009

Tiger Woods on the Wrong End of His No.1 Iron

Golfing great Tiger Woods mysterious 2AM crash outside his upscale home is now solved. The great golfer after a heated exchange with his wife over an affair with a New York socialite found himself confronted by his wife wheeling his trusty #1 iron. As his wife flew into an uncontrollable rage and began swinging the club wildly Tiger fled the house for the safety of his Cadillac Ecaslade with the angry wife in hot pursuit. Locking his doors behind him the angry wife followed, and began hitting the car with the golf club causing the great golfer to stomp the accelerator in an attempt to flee his wife, who by this time was in a complete jealous rage. I don't know what Tiger was expecting for this is "par for the course" for the "hole-in-one" he scored in the Big Apple. Tiger is fortunate in that he is a great golfer and not a member of the U.S. Pistol team. Until this hour the Tiger, who now seems more like a little pussy cat, has refused to talk to police about this incident and has lawyered up, perhaps still feeling the sting of Elin's wrath. This is just my account of that evening and is pure speculation, but it does sound plausible in the absence of eye witnesses, lack of cooperation from the Wood's and the mangled no.1 iron.

Tiger Woods' bizarre overnight car crash outside his Florida home came only two days after the National Enquirer published an article claiming the golf champ was having an affair.
Police said they had no knowledge of a fight between Woods, 33, and his wife, Elin, before Woods left their house at 2:25 a.m. Friday — backing out of his driveway and plowing into a fire hydrant and a neighbor's tree in a gated community near Orlando.
The Enquirer's explosive story hit the stands Wednesday contending that Woods has been seeing New York night club hostess Rachel Uchitel and that the pair recently were spotted in Melbourne while Woods was playing in the Australian Masters tournament.
SLIDESHOW: Tiger Woods
Uchitel denied having an affair with Woods when contacted by Fox News and said the Enquirer story was completely fabricated.
She said she barely knows the tabloid paper's sources and only has met them twice.
"I don't know who they are," Uchitel told Fox. "These two women put this out there. This is not something I want to be involved with at all. I'm not trying to go out there saying I'm having an affair with Tiger Woods."
Uchitel said she is in the process of retaining an attorney.
A representative from the National Enquirer declined comment.
Woods was found lying in the street with his wife hovering over him when authorities arrived at the scene, according to Windermere, Fla., Police Chief Daniel Saylor.
Saylor said Woods' wife told officers she was in the house when she heard the accident and "broke the back window with a golf club."
"She supposedly got him out and laid him on the ground," he said. "He was in and out of consciousness when my guys got there." read more from FOX News

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